Be Careful What You Wish For…

The other day I posted a blog about not being obsessed with being busy and the importance of slowing down (you can read it here if you missed it https://holyadventures.blog/2021/09/07/busy-days-in-quarantine/ ). My lovely mum commented on the post, ‘oh no! I just asked God to give me more work to do, what do I do now?!’ – my paraphrase. Now anyone who knows my mum also knows it is physically NOT possible for her to do MORE work. Like, if God were to answer this prayer in her ‘favour’, it would only be by creating another day in the week (not a bad idea if you’re listening Lord, but please can you wait until after quarantine is over?!). It turns out she had asked God for a stronger work ethic, so she could get more done (again, insane, but 🤷🏼‍♀️). Well, would you look at that; lo and behold she suddenly gets more work to do…just so she can practice, I guess… 🥴

Be careful what you wish for!

Today is Blursday, the millionth day of quarantine, and only a few hundred thousand days to go… Every day is amazingly similar, stunningly predictable, Groundhog Day-like (which, incidentally, I hated as a film, but dislike even more as real life!)…and, whilst thinking about my mama and her request for a stronger work ethic, I find myself wondering when I asked God for the gift of patience, and whether I can take that request back! Practicing being patient is really not fun, friends!

I warned you in blog post #1 that God is often a tricksy customer, One to be watched and not to be messed with, and this is a classic example of that!

Ask for more patience, and the only way that can be grown in you is to be in situations that are frustrating, I guess, and that require additional patience.

Ask for the gift of being able to forgive, and it follows that we will face opportunities where we are called on the flex those forgiveness muscles until they grow stronger.

Ask for an increase in any of the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control) and God will give us those gifts, but they take time and experience and practice and energy and sometimes some flippin’ hard work to grow in us.

And, yes, whenever I sit and moan in here, in this posh hotel, with food brought to me 3 times a day (or twice, when they forget me), with the most amazing bed and stunning views and hot showers and with all the time on my hands and nothing required of me…whenever I sit and moan in here, then I really am redefining First World Problems – I get that – but nonetheless, boredom is boredom, and learning to be patient is not fun.

But, and here is the Good News, it will be good. I know that to be true, because we worship a God who only gives good gifts. Learning patience is not a punishment for anything at all. It is preparation for the Holy Adventure God is calling me on to next. In fact, anything we learn, on any given day, is preparation for that which is next.

AND, because God is good and tricksy, in equal measure, we do need to be careful what we wish for (pray, obviously, but there isn’t a song called ‘be careful what you pray for…’ so bear with me in this case of poetic license!), because, as the song goes, we might just get it.

And that reminds me… a couple of years ago a memory flashed up on my newsfeed, a screenshot of something I’d written a decade or so before, long before I was ever ordained, and it said words to this effect… ‘God, if I ever have to lead a church, can it be used to feed the hungry and keep them warm?’ To that request, God clearly said YES, a resounding one, and even in the highs and lows of that ministry, I’ve never regretted that prayer and I continue to pray it for where I will go next and for every flavour of my ministry in the years to come. Please God, may I always feed the hungry and warm those who are cold? Yes?

And maybe, in order to answer these broader brushstroke prayers, God needs to also work on our character? Maybe I never actually said ‘God, please could you make me more patient?’ but maybe God sees that it’s a thing that needs growing in me, and that 27 years in quarantine will be useful for that (14 days, Gemma, 14 days, stop catastrophising!).

So, my advice today is to be careful what you wish for, but wish for it anyways, because maybe that’s what the psalmist meant when they wrote ‘delight yourself in the Lord and you will be given the desires of your heart’ (Psalm 37:4 – inclusive language, mine).

Perhaps the original manuscript continued ‘…it might suck for a while, but it’ll be worth it in the end’. Shame that bit never made the final cut! 😉

Food and Faith

Yesterday I got a message from my mum that said, ‘About your blogs. In some of the early ones there are some cliff hangers…….. Do you need to reread and pick ‘em out and address them?’. Well, I didn’t know I was writing cliff hangers! 🤣 and I’m sorry if you’ve lost sleep wondering if/when I’ll get around to addressing them*, but I did as my mama told me (I’m good like that 😉) and I thought I would write something about my love of food and faith, particularly the combination of the two…

Food in quarantine began well (if you like rice, which I do), but it seems to be on a sharp downwards trajectory. The last two nights I’ve had to call reception and chase my evening meal because they’ve forgotten me. One night I had a vegetable that was cold and hard and soaked in oil (and looked far from vegan, in a kind of rude way!) and I have no idea what it was. Lunch today was some kind of vegan sushi roll but, even after I removed the cellophane wrapper, I’m not sure the wrap was entirely edible. And I, like many members of society, have a real Hanger problem.

Needless to say, food has been on my mind quite a lot!

And I’ve also been reading this great book, Signs of Life, by Rick Fabian (founding co-Rector of St Gregory’s of Nyssa Church, San Francisco). In the first chapter he talks about an ‘open welcoming table’, meaning everyone is welcome to come and receive their mass, regardless of the point they are at in their faith journey (not dependent on baptism, confirmation, or even any kind of professions of faith). He describes the altar at SGN, and the two inscriptions on it. As you enter the church you can see the first inscription, which reads ‘This guy welcomes sinners and eats with them’…a version of Luke 15; a dismissive statement by the Pharisees and teachers of the law, intended as an insult or slur, but beautifully transformed here into an amazing message of welcome. And then, on the other side, facing the font, it reads, ‘Did not the Lord share the table of tax collectors and harlots? So then – do not distinguish between the worthy and unworthy. All must be equal in your eyes to love and to serve’, a quote from Isaac of Ninevah. Here, all are welcome, and you are also welcome to baptism, at whatever point in your journey that is fitting for you. A wonderful, inclusive, follower-led, God-breathed, holy welcome.

This ‘open welcoming table’ hasn’t always been part of my experience, my worship style, or even my theology. I can quote all the scriptures that say people should wait to receive the body and blood of our Lord. And yet, none of them make sense to me anymore. We can’t wait until we understand fully, or are worthy, or we will die waiting. And, for me, how it is at the altar is how it should also be at the dinner table, and vice versa.

Something happens in the mass that unites those who are present. Something happens at a dinner table that does the same. I’m sure that’s why Jesus spent so much time eating together with people. And what Jesus does, so we should too. A quick google search reliably informs me that food is mentioned 90 times in the gospels alone and eating is mentioned 109. It’s big business!

Eating together provides a shared experience, breaks down boundaries, disarms conflict, allows people to cook and serve and share and chat. Eating is also a basic human right and should be equally available to all people, all the time. And it’s also SO MUCH FUN!

Jesus could have commanded his disciples to do anything in remembrance of him. Every time you watch a sunrise; every time you get dressed; every time you walk on the street; but he didn’t. What did he say? Every time you eat this and drink this, remember me.

These musings about the connection between the altar and the dinner table, the mass and our meals, this open table welcome and those who are hungry each day; this lot has shaped me as a person, as a follower of Jesus, as a priest and as an advocate for those who are poorest. It has led me to transform a grade-II listed building into, not just a church, but also a Kitchen and a café that is free. It has made food more important in my life, not less and each of these musings have led to action, actions that have brought me face to face with poverty and injustice and the beauty of humanity and the harshness of addiction and some awful smells and some wonderful humans.

My musings about food and faith have given me sleepless nights, early mornings, so much joy, huge amounts of laughter, floods of tears, a more authentic expression of faith (I hope) and a church with coffee stains on the pews and marks on the floor. They have taken me on the radio and TV and to San Francisco and Hartlepool, and the more I think and the more I learn, the more I am convinced that something *extra* happens when Jesus-folk gather around any kind of table and invite others to join them too, so I will keep doing it, always. Partly because it’s one of the few things I am absolutely convinced about with my faith, partly because it accidentally turns out to be a pretty good model for evangelism, partly because it is loads of fun, and mostly because Jesus seemed to think it was a good idea in 1^st century Palestine and doesn’t seem to have changed his mind since.

So, as one of my all-time favourite writers said, (rest in power, precious Rachel Held-Evans):

“This is what God’s kingdom is like: a bunch of outcasts and oddballs gathered at a table, not because they are rich or worthy or good, but because they are hungry, because they said yes. And there’s always room for more”.

Alleluia! All you have to do is come hungry…or hangry even! Let’s eat! 😋

*if you’ve been left with any other ‘cliff hangers’ drop me a line and I’ll do my best to address them! 💛

Day Zero…

Do you remember that famous love story where boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, they plan to get married and a global pandemic hits and keeps them apart for nearly two years?? No, me either. But that’s my story; that’s our story; and that’s why, I find myself here, in a hotel room at Sydney Harbour, on “day zero” of my 14-day quarantine, just waiting to begin the next chapter in the rest of my life.

Maybe I should introduce myself (in case anyone ever stumbles across this blog who isn’t a Facebook friend or family member!)…

I’m Gemma.

A priest in the Anglican Church.

A lover of food and Jesus, and particularly fond of combining the two.

A proud dog-parent to Maggie (she will be a feature. Guaranteed).

A daughter, a sister, a friend, an auntie, a relative and a soon-to-be wife (please God) of the boy from paragraph one. My Craig.

I first met Craig way back in about 2004; this tall, bald-headed, potty mouthed, builder was standing and speaking at a Christian conference-type-thing, and I thought he was pretty special. In my own, awkward, way I tried to flirt (awful). He didn’t notice (standard). He mentioned his family and their plans to emigrate to Australia and there he was, gone (gutted).

And then nothing, for around 15 years

Fast forward to 2019 and our paths crossed again – virtually – via Facebook Messenger. Time had moved on, things had changed. I had got ordained. Craig had a great life down under and it would have been a completely stupid idea to fall in love, wouldn’t it? 10,000 miles apart? Both of us really happy where we lived and worked and neither wanting to move? Yup, that would be a completely stupid idea.

So, why am I sat on the 24^th floor of the Sydney Harbour Marriott hotel with my capsule wardrobe (that’ll feature too; game changer), a pile of books, and a countdown to fresh air and human contact?!

In short, the answer to that is two-fold: the simple matter of a Global Pandemic and a tricksy God with an invitation I couldn’t turn down.

The thing about a pandemic being global means we’ve all experienced it, so you don’t need a(nother) blog to talk about cancelled travel plans, closed borders, postponed weddings, not seeing loved ones and how that combination creates the perfect storm to change perspectives. That’s a given, right?

But the Tricksy God thing might need a bit of unfolding.

There have been times in my life where I can, hand-on-heart, say I believe I have heard from God. I don’t say it lightly, nor often, because God is like Almighty and the Creator of the Universe, and all. But sometimes I have felt called, or drawn, or led, or nudged, or booted up the backside, by that Source of All Life.

A while back I made a crazy promise (learn from me; don’t make promises like this lightly or you too might find yourself somewhere you never imagined). Anyways, a while back I kind of promised and kind of bargained with God a bit (again, risky). I said to God, ‘God, if I ever think you’re asking me to do something, I promise I will do it. If I’m not sure what you’re asking me to do I will do what I want to until you guide me otherwise’. It had a theological basis – check out this gorgeous prayer from Thomas Merton – https://reflections.yale.edu/article/seize-day-vocation-calling-work/merton-prayer – and I really meant it. Not in a ‘I’ll do what I want unless you stop me’ kind of way, but in a ‘I really want to do your will, if you will show me, Lord’.

During the UK lockdowns I had some pretty incredible moments with God. I realised for the first time that I am utterly loved by God – not for doing anything or being anything but just because. That was a great moment (and continues to be). And I also heard this call. It went something like this… ‘Babes (that was a new lockdown thing too – I know, it’s kind of odd to me too, but I like it so…) do you want to come on a holy adventure with me?’

God, in God’s infinite and warm grace and welcome was holding God’s hand out to me and inviting me on a holy adventure. I had never heard God speak to me like that before and it was kind of intriguing to start with. But God went on, ‘we can cause holy chaos together! I would love you to come. Come if you want!’

Come if you want? God was letting me choose? But how could I ever pass up an opportunity to go on a holy adventure, cause holy chaos, holy mischief even, with the King of all Kings? Particularly when God had been so kind as to extend the invitation!

God said so much more and has opened doors and borders where it didn’t seem possible but I’ll stop here for now. If I am going to be a Holy Adventurer, I need to kick this jet lag into touch and get some sleep!

Oh, and I’m determined to blog something on each of the 14 days of lockdown, and then regularly beyond that, so please keep me company. It’s pretty lonely up here!