Leading with Vulnerability

Acts 3:12-20          Psalm 4        1 John 2:15-17; 3:1-6           Luke 24:36b-48

I went to an AA meeting once. I had only ever seen AA meetings on TV before, so I wasn’t sure what was usual practice and what was poetic license, but they really do begin by going around the circle saying ‘my name is x and I am an alcoholic’. And then, this amazing thing happens; everyone else says ‘hello x’.

Each person goes in, leading with the most vulnerable thing about themselves, laying it right on the line, and they receive the welcome and acceptance that they really need. Regardless of it? In spite of it? Maybe because of it! They aren’t greeted as the alcoholic they just acknowledged themselves to be; they are greeted as the named person they really are.

And something in this morning’s gospel reading made me think about that, in the example Jesus sets.

Luke Chapter 24, where our reading came from today, is super eventful.

It begins early in the morning on the first day of the week when the women arrive at the tomb to anoint the body of Jesus. He isn’t there – why do you look for the living among the dead. He is not here. He has risen, just as he told you he would – and they go and tell the disciples. Then two other disciples walk the 12k to Emmaus, accompanied by a stranger on the road. They chat with him but don’t know who he is until he breaks the bread at their meal …and then he disappears from their sight. They get up and run the 12k’s back to the others and they each tell each other ‘it’s true! He has risen!’ and then we get to verse 36 where we began today… ‘While they were talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, ‘Peace be with you.’ 

They were startled and terrified and thought they were seeing a ghost. And that seems weird – Mary and the other women have seen him. Simon Peter and another disciple have seen him. The two disciples on the Emmaus Road have seen him. They have all seen him TODAY. He has spoken to them, eaten with them, walked with them, and yet now, at this evening’s appearance, they are startled and terrified and think it is a ghost. And this is when Jesus does his introduction:

Why are you frightened? Why do doubts arise in your hearts? Look at my hands and my feet. See that it is I, myself. Touch me and see.

And that is what reminded me of that AA meeting. And the power of vulnerability and how easy it is to try and hide away and only project the best versions of ourselves.

Jesus’ hands and feet have been pierced and mutilated. And he doesn’t hide his wounds. He uses them to show people who he is. And he uses his hands and feet to show people what God has done.

You see these hands, with these holes where the nails held me to the cross?

You see these feet, that were pinned there too?

They broke me and killed me, but God raised me from the dead and you can see it is me, because these wounds are still here.

And because Christ leads with his wounds, because Christ is willing to be identified as the wounded healer – the one who died – the one who has all those experiences in his very recent past and is standing here now because of them, not despite them. Because Christ leads in that way, so we can do the same.

It’s like we are being invited, encouraged, welcomed to share all that we are – all our good bits, our damaged bits, our healed bits, and our yet-to-be-healed bits – and that we will be accepted as we are. Just like in that opening round at AA.

So, why we are so inclined to shove our proverbial nail marked hands into our pockets and bundle our scarred feet into our boots and pretend all the time we are ok? Why do we try to keep our mask straight, and paint on a smile? Maybe our lesson from this newly risen Christ is there is power in vulnerability and hope for others in our stories of healing. And there is overwhelming strength in the journey towards that place of wholeness. We don’t need to be fully healed to be a witness to what God is doing for us. We can still be on the way. There is truth and beauty in our becoming.

They were startled and terrified, the gospel writer says.

Why are you frightened, and why do doubts arise in your hearts.

Yes, they’re standing in front of a man who was dead yesterday, and here he is asking for fish. That’s pretty frightening. That might make you doubt your sanity. But perhaps it’s more startling, more frightening, being face-to-face with someone who wears his wounds boldly, as testament to God’s conquering of death and darkness and despair, and that he might be encouraging them – us – to do the same; to wear our wounds and our vulnerability out loud. Not hide away until it is a story we can tell about ‘that time back then’, when it’s cleaner, more sanitised.

Sharing our suffering, our experiences and our pain while it is still present has power. It shows others there is hope. It shows that acceptance is still possible.

It is what I noticed at AA – ‘my name is x and I am an alcoholic’………‘hello x’.

And sadly it is not always what we have come to experience in the church. But it is the example of the Risen Christ.

Why else would his wounds still have been visible after his resurrection?

God could have chosen to resurrect Jesus with perfect, healed flesh. But, in some celestial plan, the scars remain. And perhaps they remain as witness to the healing and transforming work of God.

And if that can be true for Jesus, it can be true for you too. So don’t hide, friends. Don’t be terrified. Don’t be frightened. Take your hands out of your pockets and your feet out of your boots. You are welcome here despite your wounds. You are welcome here because of them. Amen.